Superhero test

You scored as Neo, the "One". Neo is the computer hacker-turned-Messiah of the Matrix. He leads a small group of human rebels against the technology that controls them. Neo doubts his ability to lead but doesn't want to disappoint his friends. His goal is for a world where all men know the Truth and are free from the bonds of the Matrix. Neo, the "One" 96% Batman, the Dark Knight 88% Captain Jack Sparrow 75% Lara Croft 75% The Terminator 63% William Wallace 58% James Bond, Agent 007 54% El Zorro 50% Indiana Jones 46% The Amazing Spider-Man 46% Maximus 42% Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

[Thanks to Captive Bead for finding this one! :) ]

Merry Christmas

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Happy Holidays. :)

Another cool quiz

Thanks to RaJ for finding this quiz. :)

Cool Quiz

You come from the Ocean. You've always been drawn
to the sea, the sound of the waves, the crystal
blue water, near the sea is where you belong.


Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla

More Awesome Star Wars / Darth Vader fanfic...

Go here:

Even the Stars Burn Out

Read *everything* the guy wrote.

Trust me.

It will TOTALLY get to you.

He's got one story that is in 8 parts that I had to read in one sitting. Put me through an emotional roller coaster.

Spousal abuse

I, it is sad to say, am a victim of violence. Spousal abuse, to be exact.

There I was. Minding my own business. Snoring away. 2 in the morning.

When out of the blue knuckles come flying at me in something below warp speed, and rap on the left side of the back of my skull.

Me: "Huh? What? Where? Ouuuuccchhhh...."

My husband: "Huh? Did I hit you? Oh, sorry love!"

Yeah right. Sure you are.

Him: "I was dreaming that I had just woken up, and someone was standing over me, attacking me. So I hit them as hard as I could. Good thing sleep mostly restricts muscle movement. I didn't hit you very hard, did I?"

Me: "No... I think... it's all a little fuzzy. I'm so used to my accidentally striking you that I thought I'd just woken up, sat up straight, and somehow cracked the back of my head on your chin or something!"

I am well known for reaching out to caress his face in the darkness and instead almost poking his eyes out... I'm used to being the klutzy person who injures him, not the recipient of accidental injury.

My husband wasn't feeling well, which probably explains the weird dream. And he kept tossing and turning because of it, and grinding his teeth. I think he was sleeping fairly well through it, but he kept waking me up. After getting clocked at 2am, I was then woken up again at 3am by the dogs, who wanted to go outside.

I decided to spend the rest of the night on the couch. It felt safer. And probably more restful!

[And in case you wonder, my husband feels much better today. But I'm still suspicious about this whole "I was hitting someone in a dream" excuse. Yeah... right.]

But now... what to do tonight?

Thinking of wearing my motorcycle helmet for protection tonight...

No privacy, no respect... man!

Sitting on the Throne, happily reading, with my panties down around my ankles.

Husband comes into the bathroom, with an evil grin on his face. Both of our German Shepherds are hot on his heels, and very interested in something he's holding in his hands.

Boss, our large male, is 90+ pounds and still thinks he's a puppy. Ellie is 70 pounds, is less likely to knock you down, but is more likely to do stealth-ninja moves with her tongue, invariably leaving you with a wet nose and wet lips. [She's managed to french-kiss a friend of ours who turned her head while saying something, exactly at the wrong time!]

I say "Hi...", then realize what he's holding, and barely clamp my legs together in time to protect my panties from two dog cookie missiles!

The projectiles bounce off my legs onto the floor. Two bounding bundles of fur attack. Ellie grabs one, and runs. Boss sticks around and eats his where it lays.

My husband retreats, laughing.

I plot my revenge while petting Boss.

Whew!

Sitting on the couch, watching the Simpsons.

The couch begins to shake... my pulse goes through the roof...

EARTHQUAKE!!!!!

Oh... it's Ellie. She's leaning into the back of the couch while she *vigorously* scratches behind her ear!

Dumb dog.

Thanksgiving!

So, today we did the following:

1. Took the doggies to visit my husband's parents.
2. Took the doggies to visit my parents.
3. Came home and chilled.
4. Took 3.5 mile walk.
5. Went to Jack-in-the-crack for dinner for my husband.

We're both dieting, but my diet is a bit more restrictive. The whole turkey dinner and gravy and etc., etc., would have been too much for us right now. :P

So we are experiencing a turkey-free Thanksgiving. It's a little weird, but so are we. :)

Meanwhile, I've also been reading my new OCD books. The book "Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders" by Steven Levenkron has been speaking to me very deeply. It's a trip. I've also got Steven's book on "Cutting". Both are very good and very insightful. I think I may finally understand how my whole OCD thing started.

Am trying to get a women's OCD group started in my area... or to find one that already exists! :) Am realizing it's very theraputic to talk to people with similar problems.

Hoping everyone else's Thanksgiving's are peaceful and enjoyable, and not too fattening. :)

Things I'm looking forward to

Things I'm looking forward to:

Seeing these movies:
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Aeon Flux

Putting up Christmas lights.

Purchasing and decorating the Christmas tree.

My Sister and her boyfriend coming to visit at Christmas, bringing his dog Sheila.

Losing another 10 pounds before Christmas.

Finishing my current project at work.

Starting a new project work, hopefully the one with Dennis. He's alot of fun to work with. :)

Seeing my Dad at work, as he's working as a security guard, and the security company has assigned him to my company! So, if I'm working in the "other building", I get to eat lunch with him. :)

Finding out what other clothes in the closet now actually fit. [I found out all kinds of gorgeous blouses now fit, especially the shiny red blouses! Whoo-hoo! Found out a very pretty skirt now fits, and another one is now way too large!!!]

Enjoying the improvement in my libido, from weight loss.

Enjoying the fact that my husband is enjoying the improvement in my libido. ;)

My Sister taking my surf kayak away, making more room in our garage. [I'm more into surfing with a board than with a kayak.]

Having a garage sale, getting rid of some clothing that is too large and some books I won't ever read again, and other junk.

Hopefully finding out my ski boots now fit ... as my calves are getting thinner.

Enjoying the fact that I can walk 3.5 miles in an hour w/o coming home exhausted. [Instead, I could probably walk it a 2nd time!]

Enjoying other people noticing my weight loss, and wanting to know my secret, and getting to share that secret, so hopefully other people can get healthier as well.

[Secret == HMR, http://www.hmrprogram.com ]

Enjoying the here and now, relaxing on the couch with my husband and our 2 german shepherds, watching Fox news, with the fire going in the fireplace.

Thankful for my husband, our dogs, our home, my job, my husband's job, our health, my parents, my Sister, my husband's parents and siblings and family, all our friends.

Thankful that the latest plane to have landing gear problems landed safely by the Grace of God, today. Phew!

There's more, but I need to go do some laundry and take the stinky trash out. :P

God speed, everyone. :)

Losing weight

Just a word to all my fellow overweight friends out there:

If you are having problems losing weight, you are obviously not alone. I tried on my own for the longest time.

I will confess. I am a 37 year old married woman. I am 5 feet tall.

15 weeks ago, I was 183.5 pounds. I am now 158.5 pounds. That's a weight loss of 25 pounds in 15 weeks!

My goal is to be somewhere between 110 and 120 pounds, and stay there.

How'd I finally start losing weight?

I watched 2 of our friends go on the HMR program which was being sponsored by the Center for Wellness at our local clinic. I watched them lose a tremendous amount of weight and feel MUCH better, and look much better.

So, I went on it. My husband went on it to support me. Two of our friends went on it about the same time. And another friend joined the bandwagon a few weeks later.

See, it's like this:
I tried to take a Calculus class on my own once... I just needed to complete 2 units in order to make my 2 semesters of 2nd year calculus (taken at a junior college) to fully transfer over to my quarter-system 4 year university. It was self-paced, and when you were done you had to take a test. There were tutors, but no homework that needed to be turned in... I think. It's all rather fuzzy. Let's just say that unlike my normal Calculus classes, where I had a professor and daily classes and homework that was due, I did really crappy in this self-paced Calculus class.

Point being, it's alot easier to learn, say, Calculus with a professor, classes, fellow students also taking the class and studying with you, and grades, rather then learning it on your own w/o anyone razzing you when you don't do your homework!

So, you need help. Weight loss is a learned skill, and can be a "long class". You need to do it with others, and be challenged by hearing how far others have come. There needs to be some friendly competition, and a coach (professor) helping you along.

And, in order to assist you, you need the right "material" to make eating healthy, smaller proportions easier, i.e., meal replacements. And the right documentation to help you keep track of what you are eating, how much you are exercising, and what your weight loss per week is.

I don't know if Jenny Craig or Nutri Systems, etc., are similar to HMR, but they probably are.

The HMR program has the following requirements, for the program I'm in. [I'm not in the most aggressive weight loss version... that one required weekly blood tests, and I'm not down with needles!]

1. Every day, eat at least 2 of their entrees.
2. Every day, eat/drink at least 3 of their shakes. You may blend them with fruit if you like.
3. Every day, eat at least 5 fruits and/or vegetables.
4. Every day, drink at least 64 ounces of water.
5. Every week, exercise at least 2000 calories.

And you have weekly 1 hour conference calls. Other versions of this program require going in for a 1 hour meeting with your fellow "classmates".

Anyway, go check it out. You may be able to have insurance pay for it.

I purchase entrees/shakes every 3 weeks for myself. it usually costs me... about $250 to $270. Of course, I still have to purchase my own fruits and vegetables. But I figure it works out as far as normal cost of groceries is concerned.

I believe they also charge $40.00 per month to be on the program.

I normally would scoff at stuff like this. But it bloody works! I feel so much better! It is so nice to be fitting into smaller clothing!!

I've still got a long way to go, and it has been tempting to cheat (and I have cheated several times), but in spite of that, I am losing weight and feeling healthier.

Here's a web site with information on HMR:
HMR Program

Good luck and Godspeed! :)

Yet another new set of addictive Vader sites!

Ok, you have to check out the following sites:

Darth Vader

And also

iharthdarth

Go check them out when you get the chance. ;)

Latest Addictions

Sorry for not posting recently...

Snoopy got very much into 2 new Vader fan-fic blogs! Must add them to my list of addictions. ;)

Living With A Sith Lord
Me, Myself, and Vader - Discussions with a Sith Lord

Check them out... they rock!

My dogs

Our dogs, Boss and Ellie. :) [Ellie on the left, our female. Boss on the right, our male.]

New bunny funny

So, I'm taking care of some friends pets while they are out of town.

They have a cute bunny named Fluffy.

We have two German Shepherds, Boss and Ellie.

Our dogs have a bit too large of a prey drive. We want to get them to understand that not everything smaller than they are and not a dog or a human is ok to go chase down. [We'd especially like them to figure that out with regards to skunks!]

Well, I think Ellie isn't too much of a prey chaser. But Boss definitely tries to go after cats he sees when we are walking him.

I talked to my husband W about bringing the dogs over to our friends yard, letting the rabbit out of the hutch, and letting the dogs, while safely on leash, meet the rabbit.

My husband commented that that could be very funny. One of us said "Yeah, new bunny funny."

This has since become our phrase for doing stupid or ironic things that take a person out of the gene pool, especially if it's a very gory exit from the pool.

We haven't had much reason to use the phrase recently...

Well, I've been lamenting that no-one appears to be reading my blog. Of course, they could be reading and not posting, but there's no easy way for me to tell that. I joked that I was beginning to feel desperate for attention here... maybe I should tell my Parents or my Sister about my blog.

My husband joked "Yeah, that could be really new bunny funny." ;)

My Dark Side

So, my husband and I were greatly amused by how many women have the hots for Darth Vader. And yes, I'm one of them.

I have my own weird reasons for thinking the dude is cool. But I had no idea, until the internet came into existence, that I was definitely not alone. Well, I had a little bit of a clue from reading a book on the making of Return of the Jedi, when I was a teenager, and reading the part the said that even Darth Vader got fan mail, and it was mostly from hot-and-bothered women!

Well, I can definitely understand the attraction, but I don't get the whole writing fan mail to a person who doesn't really exist! Who were they expecting to open the mail? James Earl Jones? George Lucas? Dave Prowse? Sebastian Shaw???

I mean, this was way before they got Hayden Christensen to play Anakin/Vader for 2 of the 6 movies. I could see girls writing fan mail to Hayden... that makes sense. But directly addressed to "Darth Vader"?

Anyway, I do get the attraction. The whole "tall, dark, and evil" thing, the whole 'I don't take shit from no-body' attitude, the dark sarcasm, the frightening presence. I just got a big kick out of his character in the Star Wars flicks. His whole quiet, dignified machismo... yeah, totally cool. Totally not someone you would REALLY want a relationship with, but very sexy in a weird -- VERY weird -- way.

Anyway, my husband and I have been joking: we think there's a market for various Vader-related sex toys. Vader dildo's, Vader vibrators. I can't help but think that a Vader "real doll", with a fully modifiable, 'er, private region, would be a big deal. Maybe with some pre-programmed things he could say. "You don't know the power of the Dark Side." "I find your lack of faith disturbing." "As you wish." "What is thy bidding, my Master?"

I'm sure, of course, that Lucasfilm would have some BIG copyright issues... ;) [Not to mention other problems with the whole idea...]

I can't quite see real dolls where Vader is helmet-less. He sortof loses the whole "big bad dude" feeling w/o the helmet... plus his burn-scarred face just isn't attractive. (No offense Mr. Sebastian Shaw...) But then again, maybe I'm just not in tune with the **TRUE** die-hard Vader fetishists out there!

So, my husband has teasingly offered to wear a Vader helmet during sex. I have briefly considered it, but am afraid something inside my brain might just go "crack", and that would be all she wrote... There's fantasy, and there's taking the fantasy a bit too far.

Some fantasies just aren't a good idea to truly act out.

I may not be playing with a full deck and/or all my marbles, but I have enough of them handy to know what would send me over the edge... taking me from having a screw loose to having my screws completely stripped of their grooves. :P Yeah, I think that would do it.

I have to wonder about people who have taken their fantasies too far. Did they crack afterwards? Did they even know they'd cracked afterwards?

I have to also wonder about when my husband and I have kids, what they are going to think about my whole Vader thing?

"Mom, which character was your favorite in the Star Wars series?"
"Darth Vader".
"Oh, you mean Anakin Skywalker before he turned bad?"
"Uhm... no, Darth Vader".

"Mom, which character in the Star Wars series did you have a crush on?"
"Uhm, Han Solo to a certain extent, but mostly Darth Vader." ????????

Must. Delete. BLOG. Once. Have. Children.



And. They. Learn. How. To. Read.


Heh. Man, the things my Mom finally, uhm, confessed to me... things that I, when I was a child, I wasn't supposed to know. The things my Mom didn't want me to know even as an adult, but felt compelled to tell me so I didn't make the same mistakes... Maybe my silly fetish is pretty light in comparison!

[Course, I haven't even mentioned my vampire fetish... shoot, that's worth several blog posts alone.]

We don't have kids yet. We currently just have dogs. It's pretty hard to shock or mess with dogs minds with weird confessions.

"Ellie, did you know that your 'Dad' and I had sex before marriage?"
"Woof?"
"No, really! I don't believe in doing that, but I caved... he didn't cajole me into it, I caved to my own desires."
"Rorwwoof."
"And did you know that I have had a Darth Vader fetish since I was a teenager?"
"Worooof oofhh."
"Yep. Your 'Mom' is just a total weirdo."
"Woo woof." Paw.
"Do you want a cookie?"
"Woof?!?!"

Having that conversation with a teenager... it just feels like it would go down differently.

Maybe.

Then again, it's probably the case that our kids are going to have things that they will feel like they can never tell us. Sexual exploits that they would both think would weird us out, plus they wouldn't want to talk to us about anyway... hey, we're their parents! You don't talk to your parents about your sexual exploits! It's just not done.

The things I could tell my parents. Whoa.

Shoot, they don't even know about my whole Vader thing, other than he was my favorite Star Wars character.

Well.... maybe my Mom has a bit of a clue. :)

So.... fantasies, guys. What fantasies have you guys had that you realize, if you ever truly acted out, would be pretty psychologically damaging?

What secrets do you have that you think would make your parent's heads spin?

What secrets did your parents tell you that initially made your head spin?

Well, I guess I'll talk a little about the Vampire thing...

I think both the Vampire thing and the Vader thing were both sparked by being sexually repressed, and having just a major guilt complex. Growing up, the idea of having fantasies about guys... guys I knew, or guys in movies, etc... it just felt wrong. It felt like I was forcing that guy to have sex with me in my head. I.E., like if the guy really knew that I was having fantasies about him, maybe he would be offended. I guess I felt like it was equivalent of having sex with someone without their permission. Almost rape, but they never know about it.

Yeah, I know. I'm weird.

So anytime I tried to have a fantasy about a boy I knew, or an actor, etc., I felt guilty about it.

And I was totally into the whole Vampire thing, and the whole Beauty and the Beast thing.

It wasn't long that I somehow started having Vader fantasies. The guilt wasn't as bad... Vader wasn't even real. So, although it was still a sin, and also a really weird thing to do, it still wasn't "as bad" as having a fantasy about a real person. And even if I thought of Vader as a real person... well, maybe because of how evil he was, the fact that I might be forcing him to have sex in my head... well, it's kindof hard to feel sorry for him.

And ironically having a fantasy about a character that an actor played... couldn't do it. It was too much like imagining sex with that actor.

So faceless Vader got most of my attention.

The Vampires were just more of my sexual repression coming out. In order to keep from killing the object of their love, they often have to hold themselves back from any sexual release. In many genres, it's just too hard for a Vampire to stop drinking their loved-one's blood in time to keep from killing them. Well, this totally spoke to me, since I was horribly horny and intending to remain celibate until marriage.

Anyway, I still think Vampires are cool. I have a pair of fangs I got specially made for my eye-teeth when I went to LosCon 21, in Burbank. And I have a Vader helmet.

I've been a Vampire for Halloween. I've been Vader. And I've been Snoopy.

And before you ask, NO, I have never had sexual fantasies about Snoopy!!!! I loved Peanuts and Snoopy long before I knew what sex was.

So, there you have it. Sexual repression and the weird things it can lead to. :)

Ramble ramble

Feeling much better. Bronchitis is mostly gone.

My husband and I both went to work today.

The whole week of coughing up a lung, sleeping, eating, playing with the dogs, and being a total couch potato seems to have done us some good. Well, me at least. I hardly felt stressed.

Anyway, I had a peaceful day of just getting code written and tested for my project. That was totally cool.

So our friend, R, her Mom just had a triple by-pass. She needed me to give her and her daughter a ride to the airport tonight, so she could fly to Canada and be with her Mom and the rest of her family. R's husband is still on travel for work.

I hate seeing R go through this. It's been pretty scary. I know what she's going through: my Mom had a very scary time a couple of years ago until doctor's figured out what she needed: a pacemaker to keep her heart pumping adequately and meds to keep her heart from beating TOO quickly! My Mom's got congestive heart failure, which she'll never get over, but which is treatable, and something she's been able to live with. She has good days and bad days.

Well, R's Mom has had several heart attacks, one right after having had stints put in. R's Mom is one of the unlucky few who react badly to the stints... it even made the heart attack worse than it would have been w/o the stints. :( R's about 10 years younger than I am. Her Mom's 10 or 20 years younger than my Mom! This is just too early.

I badly wanted to hug R and her daughter before I put them on the plane... but having just gotten over my bronchitis bug, I was afraid I'd give it to R or to her daughter... and from them then to R's Mom. :P Not good.

So that's what's going on right now. Hope things are going well with the rest of the world. :) Hang in there, guys.

Godspeed.

Out of it...

I've been out of it for a while here. ;)

I've been out sick with a sore throat that turned into a cold that then turned into an upper respiratory infection. I tried to fight it on my own, but when it decided to turn into bronchitis, I gave in, went to a Doctor, and had him bring out the "big guns", i.e., antibiotics.

I missed over a week of work. :P

Sorry I haven't written in a while.

My husband now has the same wonderful bug. We're both sick, but now I'm the one who is the most well, so I've been driving him to McDonalds for "comfort food", etc. :) Just a couple days ago he was bringing me tea and doing the grocery shopping.

We've been doing alot of couch-potato channel-surfing. And playing a game he bought me: the Star Wars Lego Playstation game. :) Well, I've mostly been watching, and offering advice for where I thought they might be hiding stuff.

So it's been kindof boring over in my neck of the woods.

I'm rather obsessive about checking things, so that includes checking websites for updates. But weirdly, I was fairly obsessive in the past 1.5 weeks in checking for new earthquakes. It was like I... felt like a new one was on the way. Then when I saw the one in Pakistan, it was a weird confirmation of my feelings, which was neat. But also one I would rather not have had. The past few months feel like I'm watching, waiting for the next shoe to drop.

[Before anyone misinterprets the above, I am very sad about what happened to Pakistan and India and the general area of the earthquake. I have friends who are Pakistinian.]

I feel like I'm watching things fall into place for the end times, for when all that scary stuff in Revelations starts to happen.

I feel like I shouldn't make any "big plans" in the near future!

I feel like Southern California is next. Big Quake and/or Tsunami, here we come. Good thing I haven't shipped the surf kayak out to my Sister yet in Nevada because we're going to need it!

I think I'm living in a state of somewhat perpetual fear. And although I'm sure the terrorists would like to take credit for it all, I have to say that they are just a part of that fear. The natural disasters that have been occurring show that God is the one we should be listening to, not some people who need to borrow our own planes in order to break down a couple of buildings.

Not trying to equate God with terrorists, or vice-versa. But I do feel like this may be part of God's "heads up" warning to us that it's time to seek Him while we have a chance.

I both feel like I have sought Him, and have not. I feel like I can talk the talk, but not sure I've ever truly walked the walk.

Anyway, in case we are in the end times, or even if we're not, if you haven't sought out a relationship with God, now's a real good time. You don't know if you'll be alive tomorrow. Shoot, you don't know if your city will be on the map tomorrow!

It's pretty simple. You need to believe that Jesus was God's Son, that He died on the cross to pay for your sins, and that He rose from the dead on the 3rd day. And then you need to accept God's gift of forgiveness, God's payment for your sins. And ask Jesus to come into your heart, and be the Lord and Saviour of your life. And tell others about it... and especially go get with a Church, so other believers can help you in your new life.

Part of the whole thing is also being Baptised, which in some Churches means being immersed in water, and others means being sprinkled with water. But basically it's a ceremony that is a visual indication of your choice to follow God from now on. The latter isn't 100% necessary, i.e., if you are physically unable to be Baptised, God's not going to count that against you! But if you are able to be Baptised, go do it, if only because it is God's desire.

I feel like I should be taking my own advice. I've been Baptised... got sprinkled with water. I've asked God into my heart. I just often have problems believing it "took". Me and "Doubting Thomas" from the Bible would get along really well. ;) But don't be like me... don't doubt God's promises of Salvation. Don't mimic my OCD-induced doubting.

Wow. Ok, I didn't think I had anything to say, this being a very "boring" time in my life right now since I've been sick and out of circulation with regards to work and "the real world". Guess I was wrong.

Hope this finds you guys out there well. Hang in there, and know that everything happens for a good reason... but we just don't always get to see what that reason is.

Godspeed.

Playing with blogger, plus sci-fi addictions

Decided to try uploading an image here...

[Need to at some point mock up a Snoopy with Darth Vader's helmet over his head... maybe with his nose sticking out, or with the Vader mask having a REALLY LONG muzzle. :) ]

Am kindof rambling because there's something funny I'm dying to post, but I have read Dooce.com, and I really don't want to screw with my job.

So you're getting this.

Oh, there is something cool I can talk about: my Sci-Fi addictions. :)

So, if you haven't gotten into Sci-Fi's new version of Battlestar Galactica, you really are missing out. It's totally well done, and has been keeping me on the edge of my seat ever since I saw the pilot. I own the pilot, and the minute Season One is out on DVD, it's getting ordered.

Tonight I saw the season finale. About drove me batty... total cliffhanger. Aigh! Must find out when the new season starts... I need my fix, man!

Another addiction I have WAS to Simon of Space, a cool novel blog. I say WAS because, sadly, the final chapter was posted. :( It's over. I'm feeling relieved in a way: if I woke up in the middle of the night to let the dogs out, and I realized a new post was up, I'd have to stay up and read it! But I'm also sad because it was quite a ride, and I'm already missing it.

I ordered the dead-tree version of the blog-book.

If you want to read an awesome BLOG novel, or purchase it in dead-tree format, go to Simon of Space and look for the link on the right to "read it in sequence". There's also a link on the right for purchasing the dead-tree version.

It's not sci-fi, but am also addicted to Monk. It's really well done. I have to wonder if I would be so into it if it weren't for the fact that I have OCD... and if my husband would be so into it if he didn't have to deal with my OCD! :) No, I think we'd still enjoy the show... it's just really funny and well done. :)

It's on the USA network. You can catch it on Monday and Friday evenings.

Ok, enough rambling.

Blast, I really am dying to post what happened at work. It's not related to work...

Dooce and Opinionistas just have way bigger cajones than I do. :P

Tired

Being wired up is not the best way to get a good night's sleep.

So, at first glance, I don't have sleep apnea. Yeah!!!!!!

It will take 2 weeks for the results to come back on any sleeping problems I may have
in general.

Also, if you have the sleep test, where they wire you up, be sure of the following:

1. Bring any special pillows you are used to sleeping on. Which I didn't do.
2. Check the bed ahead of time. The bed I had was one of those cool beds where you could set the sleep number, i.e., it would blow up with air or expel air to adjust how hard or soft the bed was.

Check it, because although the bed was comfortable enough for chilling and watching tv, it was not inflated enough for comfortable sleep. And guess what? The remote control and/or the power for the inflator? Not functional. Oops.

Everything else was fine. The sleep lab I was in was totally cool. The people were awesome.

Going to the bathroom while wired up, and trying to hold the box all the wires were hooked up to... very, very interesting.

Anyway, although they assured me I got some sleep, I really didn't feel like I had in the morning! :)

Wired

I am sitting on a bed, in a room, with a tv on with the sound off, my laptop on my lap. A stuffed German Shepherd. A couple of movies ready to put into the laptop if necessary. My cell phone.

And I am wired up like C3PO before he got an exoskeleton.

I'm in a very nice sleep lab. About to get checked for sleep apnea, or any other problems that could be messing with my health.

I was worried it would be like being in a hospital room, but other than feeling like I somehow got caught in a fisherman's net while scuba diving, it's actually really nice.

And I probably did bring too much stuff from home to ensure my comfort levels. Oh, well. :)

It's just so weird to know that data is going to be taken off me... 22 to 24 different squiggly lines, about 500 to 1000 datapoints per 30 seconds. That's a heck of alot of data, and as a computer programmer who has to save data from tests done with my software, I know data!

It's definitely more data than I take with my software, that's for sure.

Yeesh.

And it's all real-time. All very accurate.

As a geek, I was very interested in their server room. What can I say? Rooms that are full of computers and hi-tech gear make me drool!

[Now, rooms full of medical equipment make me run away screaming! :) ]

Anyway, this is a very weird experience for me. Will let you all know how it goes.

But although there are many comforts of home, I really miss my husband and our 2 German Shepherds. My stuffed German Shepherd is just going to be a piss-poor replacement. Ah, well. :)

Goodnight.

Sleep-tight.

Don't let the bed bugs bite.

-- Darth Snoopy, Monday night, almost 10pm.

Seven

Seven years ago today, September 13th, around 3:30 in the afternoon, I married my perfect match. :)

A guy geekier than I am, and yet still capable of being "normal" when necessary. :) [And extra geeky when necessary, as well.]

A guy who puts up with all my shit. And whose shit I happily put up with.

A guy who loves me and appreciates me and is proud of me.

A guy I love, appreciate, and am proud of. :)

A guy who loves to learn new skills and go after new adventures, and has goosed me to have the bravery to go after that same love in myself.

A guy who loves dogs. Thankfully more than white carpets!

A guy I can talk code with. :) A guy I can talk about anything with.

A guy I can snuggle with, or be intellectual with, or just be quiet with. :)

A guy I respect.

A guy with an awesome sense of humor. And a sick and twisted nature to go along with it. ;)

A guy who helps me be assertive and stand my ground, even against my Parents and my Sister, when necessary. :)

A guy I would defend no matter what.

A guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. :)

Seven years ago, he was crazy enough to marry me, in spite of what a nutcase I am. :)

Seven years ago, I was crazy enough to marry him and his often twisted sense of humor. ;)

I am blessed. :)

Flying High

So this weekend we did some much needed positive things.

1) Met a friend for lunch.

2) Worked out an insane amount.

3) Did a Discover Flight, where both my husband and I got to handle the controls of a plane while we went from airport A to airport B, landed, then airport B back to airport A. He held the controls with the instructor from A to B, I did from B to A. Was totally awesome!

We're signing up for flying lessons.

We've learned how to surf... well, my husband can stand on the board, but I use it like it's a boogie board. ;)

We've learned how to scuba-dive. Both of us have Open-Water, Advanced, and Nitrox certifications.

We've learned how to ride motorcycles, and both have bikes.

This isn't a new skill, but we've both been on the HMR diet/exercise program for the past 5 weeks, and have both lost weight.

We've been kindof dormant for a couple of years, other than the HMR thing. It's time for the next major skill. ;)

After what's happened to us this week, what's happened to New Orleans and the deep South, what's happened to us over the past year in general, the Tsunami... it's time to do something positive and energizing in response to our problems and the worlds problems. Time to learn a new skill. :)

Hope everyone else had a good weekend. :)

Skunked!

So, we went to bed at midnight Wednesday night.

At 3am, the dogs woke my husband up to let them outside. Wow, they actually did go outside and *do* something. I.E., it wasn't just a scouting mission. :)

At 5am, the dogs woke me up to let them outside. I had intended to get up at 4am... then when reality hit, at 6am, to write some more code for my project that needed to be tested today. So I rather reluctantly got up and let them outside, an hour early from my target wakeup time

Only of course, they just wanted attention... they ended up lying around the living room while I fell asleep on the couch. I think our female did go outside to do something in the way of waste removal...

Then, around 5:30am, I hear Ellie, our female, moving fast after something. Boss, our male, hears it, leaps off his corner of the couch (where he had been snoozing with me), and runs outside. [I had left the sliding glass door open while I passed out on the couch... stupid, stupid!]

I run to the sliding glass door.

Boss comes running in, and starts rubbing his face all over the carpet.

I look outside. To the left of me, about 15 feet away, is a skunk. Directly in front of me, about 12 feet away, is Ellie. I actually am not sure if she was skunked at that point.

I called her. She ran to the sliding glass window. That MAY have been when she actually got skunked. Sigh. I closed the sliding glass door, and Ellie joined Boss in the massive rubbing of skunk scent all over our carpeting.

About 2 minutes later, I had them closed up in the guest bathroom.

About 10 minutes later of web surfing for the correct chemicals, my husband entered the bathroom to start bathing them in regular shampoo, and I drove first to 7-11, then to Albertsons for the appropriate chemicals. [I.E., he decided to bathe first in dog shampoo until I could come home with the correct neutralizing chemicals to de-skunk them.]

The correct chemicals are, btw, detergent, H2O2, and Baking Soda.

And you're supposed to soak the affected area in that formula... and then you can rinse it off with water. If you apply soap and water before you apply the chemical combination, you will have activated that horrendous stench. :P So we did it in the wrong order.

According to this site, Deoderize Skunk Spray, the correct formula and methodology is as follows:


"For pets that have been sprayed, bathe the animal in a mixture of 1 quart of 3% hydrogen peroxide (from drug store), 1/4 cup of baking soda (sodium bicarbonate) and a teaspoon of liquid detergent. After 5 minutes rinse the animal with water. Repeat if necessary. The mixture must be used after mixing and will not work if it is stored for any length of time. DO NOT STORE IN A CLOSED CONTAINER - it releases oxygen gas so it could break the container. This mixture may bleach the pet's hair. I have heard of one black Labrador retriever that was chocolate colored after this treatment. (Paul Krebaum's Recipe from Chemical & Engineering News , October 18, 1993, p. 90).

"Some additional tips. Do this outside so the volatile skunk spray does not contaminate your house. To remove residual skunk odor from your clothes and any towels or rags used in this clean up procedure, wash them with one cup of liquid laundry bleach per gallon of water."


I'm back somewhere around 6:30am. It's my turn. I go in with the chemicals, and try direct treatment on the face using a toothbrush, carefully avoiding the eyes.

Around 7am, my husband tries to scrub the skunk smell off his body.

Around 7:15am, I do the same.

Around 7:30am, we're off to drop pets of at vet's for further chemical treatment. We get back around 8:30am?

Around 8:45am, me and my broken Spanish, and our cleaning couple and their broken English, agree on my picking them up at 2pm to retrieve them so they can PLEASE sterilize the guest bathroom, which now reeks! [Because we also tried to clean them indoors instead of outside... mistake #2.]

Around 9am, carpet cleaner dude comes. He makes our carpet as clean as I've ever seen it since we moved in and it was brand new, prior to our getting our first German Shepherd! "Wow, it WAS white when we moved in!"

Around 10am, we're exhausted. My husband takes one more shower. I can't even do that. We fall into bed, and sleep until
1:30pm.

1:50pm I'm off to pick the wonderful cleaning couple (who cleans our house twice a month) up from their home. [They don't have a car.]

They spend a little over an hour sterilizing our guest bathroom. They rule. :) They came over with little notice, and when I tried to pay them, they tried to take nothing because it was just one bathroom. I managed to get them to take something.

They are awesome, and I would recommend them to anyone! They are also good friends, and are helping me improve my spanish! :) I hope I'm helping them improve their English...

By the way, skunk in spanish is zorrilllo. I made something up to help me remember it: sore arm in rio. [Only, omit "arm" and "in".]

Around 3:30pm I drove them home.

I got back around 4pm. We both tried to go to go to sleep. We were so tired. But we couldn't do it.

Called the vet around 5pm. Yes, the dogs were done.

Picked up dogs, who were VERY glad to see us! Drove home. Let them out in backyard to poo and pee. Then crated them.

Went into backyard and de-poo'd the yard. [I had been negligent last weekend in doing so, due to a high work-load] Since they were bathed... might as well as try to keep them clean, and our apparently white carpet clean, and remove the odds of poo stains from poo-ey paws.

So with everything that went on, it's now almost 7pm. I have yet to write a line of code for that testing I WAS going to do today. :P

And instead of calling in sick this morning, I called in skunked. :P

I still smell it on the dogs and on me. :P

I hate skunks.

Oh, another thing... my husband and I think that the skunk was after the water in the water dish that we typically leave outside. At night, bring in your dog's water dishes!

Major suckage

You know how you have work friends that you aren't very close to, but you still see every day? Or at least every week? And you have a sortof camaraderie? And you count them as your friend, but as a friend you don't know very well and should probably get to know better?

Well, I won't be getting that chance now.

Someone I've worked with at 2 different companies is dead.

He was a bit of a thrill seeker, which is a mentality I'm beginning to understand, as I'm realizing I have a bit of that streak in myself.

He went hang gliding... even rode thermals as high as 18,000 feet, with and without oxygen. [When the latter happened, he looked at his altimeter, said "oh sh*t", and decided it was time to go lower!]

He surfed.

He went scuba diving.

And he rode motorcycles.

He was intense, and fun to talk to. And a nice person in general.

He works in a different building than I do. Well, "worked". I haven't talked to him much since he came over to my current company. Last week I talked to him because a friend of mine is trying to get work there. While doing so, I got to know him a little bit better, and found out his interest in hang gliding and in scuba.

I told him when he and his dive buddy decided to go out again, to please let me know (if he wanted to), and me and my husband would go with him!

I also heard about how he took a few risks in scuba... and warned him about it. I've yet to see "bad things" happen while scuba diving, but I've read enough and been taught enough about them to do my best to stay safe! I didn't want to read about him later as a statistic.

I was warning him about the wrong sport.

There's this favorite road bikers like to ride on called Jalama. Or maybe that's the city the road is near, I don't know. Two bikers died over the weekend. He was one of them. He was in the left lane and hit oncoming traffic. I think he may have taken a turn too fast, and so had to use more space to make the turn.

I found out this morning about it. And I also found out he is married with a 2 year old child!

How could I not know that about him? How could I feel like he was "a friend", and not know he was married and had a kid? What kind of "friend" am I?

There's more that distresses me about this. But it's of a religious nature, and I'm not ready to talk about that.

I feel like I somehow failed him, like maybe I could have said something to prevent his death. Or like I could have at least known him better before he died. It's really strange. I mean, I used to bump into him alot at the first company we both worked at, but we didn't really chat seriously. And then I go chat with him last week, find out we have alot of interests in common, and now he's gone.

I hate that his life has been cut short so soon. And I hate to think of what his wife is going through, and how his child is going to grow up without his father.

I hate that this was an accident. That it was preventable. That it was death due to a simple error in judgment.

And I hate that there's not much I can do after the fact. Can't undo his death. Can't bring him back so his wife and child aren't ...

Shit.

And now I'm kindof afraid to get back onto my own motorcycle. And I know I'm going to be worrying whenever my husband is out riding his.

This has totally rattled me.

We (my company) are going to hear later this week when the funeral is, and if there's going to be some sortof fund we can donate to.

Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam?

So, last night I came home to find out that we could no longer log in to our voice mail. Huh.

Husband suggested 611, the quicky number to get technical support.

After some navigating around menu's, got to a human.

For the purposes of this conversation, I am replacing my first name with Darth, and my last name with Snoopy.

"Hello Mrs. Snoopy. May I call you Darth?"

I said, "Yes of course." with a smile in my voice.

"How can I help you?"

"Well," I said, "my password seems to have been changed out from under me."

"Ah, yes, we upgraded our software. You have these new features...", and she rolled off some of them. "Your new password is the last 4 digits of your phone number." [The first of the last 4 digits starts with 6.]

"You know, I tried to guess at it. I tried to think what you guys might have defaulted it to if you'd sent it back to the 'starting' password. '1111#'.... damn! '1112#'.... damn!"

She and I both laughed, and she said "I bet you would have been pretty upset by the time you reached it!"

I laughed some more and said I'd have probably have lost my temper somewhere closer to 3000, not 6000! :)

And now we have voice mail again. And yes, I was thinking of that Family Guy episode where Stewie doesn't know the home phone number, and tries to type it using a systematic search algorithm.... "111-1111.... Lois? Damn! 111-1112.... Lois? Damn!" :)

Today, I decided that if I was to re-dye my hair tonight, I'd better do it before we walked the dogs and my hair got all sweaty. My hair had been very recently washed, and was thoroughly dry... it was as primed as it would ever be for dyeing. And I'd been trying to find time to dye it for several days... [Red, if you must know. :) ]

I wanted to get home from the walk before Battlestar Galactica came on... I'm addicted to that show! And I was under the mistaken impression that it was on at 9pm when in fact on Friday's it's on at 10pm.

So at 6:50pm, I'm in rather a rush to prepare the chemicals. I had a box of 2RR, and 5RR. The 2RR is almost pinkish, and very pretty. The 5RR takes no prisoners. But lately I'd been in a 2RR kindof mood. I donned the gloves, spread out the instructions, put the conditioner for after rinsing into the shower, opened the bottle that you shake the stuff in, then opened the color chemical that goes into the bottle and mixes with the bottle's contents to become activated.

Poured it all in. Hmmm... it's white. And the bottle's contents aren't changing color...

Read the "color" tube. Crap. I just mixed the activator with the conditioner!

So tonight became a 5RR night instead. :)

And I walked my poor husband and our two dogs at a rather rapid pace to make it home in time for Battlestar Galactica, when in fact I had an hour more time than I had thought. :P

[Why didn't I cancel the dog walk? I'm on a diet/exercise regimen, and damnit, I'm going to lose this weight.]

Ah, well. No sense crying over unmixed hair color and activator. :)

And the fast paced walk probably did us all some good. Although I think I owe my husband ALOT for the patience he displayed when I was in a hurry to make it home for a tv show! As it was, we made it home 15 minutes ahead of 9pm... or 1 hour 15 minutes ahead of when BG was really on. :)

HMR

So, in my pursuit of health and being able to sleep, I have gone on a supervised diet with my husband. This will obviously improve my health, but should also improve my ability to sleep as being in better shape helps sleep, as well as the fact that losing weight improves sleep apnea, if you have that. [I don't know yet if I have that.]

HMR is about doing 2000 calories (kcal) of exercise a week, and per day, eating 2 of their packaged entrees, drinking 3 of their shakes, and eating 5 servings of fruits and vegetables.

The 2000 calories works out to 300 calories a day approx.

Trying to eat 5 of what they call a serving of fruits and vege's is quite the challenge.

It's either 1 cup in volume or 8 oz. in weight, with some exceptions. Salad is 3 cups of leaves per serving, I think due to lack of compression. [I decided therefore that a canned of cooked spinach was a 1-1 ratio and not a 1-3 ratio, therefore!]

Beans, due to their density, are double. I'm not sure if that means you can have 8 oz of beans volume or weight in order to achieve 2 servings. I need to bug the weight counselor in our phone call.

You'd think there would be a FAQ for all of this. The weight counselor says she didn't have a FAQ. Certainly SOMEONE must have one.

So, why have I and a bunch of my friends started HMR? Most of my friends have realized they need to get serious about this whole weight-loss/health thing, and have always noticed that it's easier to learn something either when you are in a class and need to make a grade, or when you are learning on the job to complete an assignment.

Both require accountability. You don't want an "F", and you certainly don't want to get fired!

Both require accountability not from just your friends, but also from a "higher source", whether it be your boss, or your teacher. In this case, it's our weight management counselor.

Anyway, since most of my friends, myself included, have realized we need outside motivators, we went out and got them!

It's just totally weird to be doing this, though. The other day I packed a bunch of "illegal" food into boxes, and delivered them to my place of work, putting them into two shelves in a cupboard and writing "free!" on two paper napkins I placed in there! Sigh. No more chocolate sauce. No milk. No chocolate milk. No ice cream. No crackers or bread. No macaroni and cheese. Aigh! No cheese! Aigh!

Anyway, accountability is good. 'Cause w/o it, I don't think I would have lasted the... past... 5 days!!! ;)

Wish me luck.

Poetry

Insomniac (poem 1 of 2)
---------
Sing it with me!
Oh, I'm not up early... no, I never fell asleep.
Oh, I'm going to be surly, about the office I will creep

I will meander and gander and gawk and yawn
If lucky I will sleep in the eve, and not be awake until dawn

My dogs don't understand me. They want to go to bed.
They don't realize that this wakefulness has gone to my head.
My husband snores happily... in bed he does lay...
Which is where I will be wishing I could spend the sunny day

Oh, I'm not up early... no, I never fell asleep.
Oh, I'm going to be surly, about the office I will creep!

It's 5:45am. Do you know where your insomniactic bed partner is?

Ode to Sashimi (poem 2 of 2)
-------------
Free Range Bait
Roaming Around My Plate
To My Hearts Delight
We're Eating Well Tonight!

Dog rules, Part I

(1) If the doorbell rings on the tv, it is equivalent to the front door's doorbell ringing, and will be treated as such.

(2) ... no matter how much the humans yell that it's just the tv.

(3) It is a fact written in stone that the only way for a dog to sufficiently show it's affection when human returns home is to jump up as high as it can reach, scraping it's paws across every inch of the human's exposed skin. This can include the human's face.

(4) It is also a fact written in stone that no matter how long the doggy nails get, or how uncomfortable they are for the dog to walk with, the dog will still resist all attempts at trimming same nails. [Besides, the dog knows the human is just trying to test the dog: if the dog truly loves the human, the dog will avoid nail trimming in order to be more effective at item (3) above.]

(5) The couch is only for the humans...

(6) ... unless the dog manages to get onto it first.

(7) The dog can only be comfortable upon the bed if spread out as far as all appendages and the doggy frame can go. The humans should understand this and be accommodating.

(8) Eating poo is a physical necessity.

(9) Breathing poo breath into a human's face should be thoroughly enjoyed and not punished. After all, the dog is merely trying to share the wonderful taste in it's mouth!

(10) Dogs know that reading computer screens or books causes eye strain in their humans, and will therefore do their best to nuzzle said humans so that they will take a break... and also so they will do their duty of scratching the dog.

If you enter my house, expect to get sniffed in the butt, nuzzled by a wet nose, licked, pawed, and otherwise showered with possibly unwanted attention. You should also expect more of the same from our dogs. ;)

Strange Facts, Episode I

1. I was born 6 weeks premature.

2. I have a genetic disease that the doctors said would do all kinds of horrible things to me. My poor parents were told all kinds of things that were likely, from going blind, to needing to break and reset my rib cage when I was a teenager so I could get enough air, to my being mentally retarded. What the doctors thought would happen and what God decided would happen were thankfully drastically different! The doctor's now think the genetic disease is an "incomplete penetrance", i.e., you test positive, but you really don't show the full symptoms. The only lasting effect it has had on me is watching my parents, mostly my Mom, be way too overprotective, and that I get upper respiratory stuff kindof easy. But that could have been from being born premature, so... or from not getting mother's milk due to it upsetting my stomach, and so not getting the benefit of Mom's immune system.

So I guess the only real effects have been psychological turmoil for my parents, way too many blood tests for me in order to see how I was doing (Needles! Aigh! No!!!), and the fact that I need to make sure my kids won't REALLY get this genetic disease.

3. I was a very sick little kid. But I think that was mostly from being born premature, and not getting Mom's milk to help me out.

4. I have very little saliva. My Mom couldn't figure out why I hated toast so much growing up. [If I eat toast, I bury it in butter, honey, or jelly.]

5. My Sister's black German Shepherd Myca growled at me when he first met me. I looked at him with disgust, and said something like "Lassie wouldn't have growled at me", and walked off. I was 5 years old. Myca and I became good friends after that first meeting. :)

6. I had hives from being around Myca. Or that's what my parent's thought was causing it. They couldn't keep me away from Myca. Dogs 1, hives 0: I eventually outgrew the hives due to constant doggy exposure!

7. I am asymptotically 5 feet tall. I never quite made it. My spine has a slight curvature. My driver's license says I am 5 feet tall. ;) And that's what it will ALWAYS say.

No, I don't have a height complex, why do you ask?

8. I have OCD. My Mom has OCD. Her Dad and possibly her Mom have OCD. Being a sick little kid, with warnings of a dire future (health-wise), with an OCD Mom... heh-heh. ;) Let's just say that growing up was an interesting experience.

9. I attended 7th grade twice and both times, never fully finished it. Long story, but highly ironic. :)

10. I went to a private school where, due to expansion, my class was moved into unused rooms in the back of a skating arena. [The Principal's Dad ran the skate arena, and it was empty during school hours anyway, so...] Our PE was playing a form of soccor where we bent over and hit the ball with our hands instead of kicking it, as the owner was worried we would kick the ball too high and it would break the lights over the skate arena!

[On Fridays, if we had been good, we got to go skating. :) ]

11. I went to college at the age of 16. [Mom was afraid of that aforementioned blindness thing. So she wanted me to get educated early.] I took the California High School Proficiency Exam to test out of high-school.

12. I transferred from my junior college into my university into the major of ECE (Electrical Computer Engineering), which I thought was a wise move as it was the hardest of the Engineering majors to get into. [So if I didn't like it, I could transfer into another Engineering major, right? Not w/o ALOT of units accumulated at my new university. And I found out I hated ECE. Oops.] I also moved 5 hours away from home, into the dorms. First time on my own. Age of 18. Junior in college. Used to having parents around 24/7. Totally unprepared socially and psychologically.

Gee, guess what? I flunked out. Got back in. Managed to get into major I *should* have chosen the first time (Computer Science), considering how much I loved computer programming and computer games. Graduated with B.S. after 6 years, at the age of 22, in spite of my head start. ;)

13. In college, I was such a germ-a-phobe (due to that lovely undiagnosed OCD problem) that, once I got back into my dormroom to go to sleep, I would spray lysol on my hands. I did this because I'd keep seeing girls use the women's bathroom on our floor w/o washing their hands, and then opening the bathroom door with their dirty hands. :P

I was also highly adept at opening doors with my elbows.

More later... need a breather. :)

Insomnia update

Melatonin tablets are awesome. :)

I am taking 0.25 mg (started at 0.5 mg, but wiped me out) at 3pm every day per Sleep Doc's orders. I get very groggy and have a hard time shaking off the grogginess until maybe 6 or 7pm. Then I'm ok. And when it's time for bed, I'm sleepy, nodding off, and I finally DO fall asleep!

Thank God!!!

I sleep deeper. I wake up feeling refreshed. I'm alert at work, instead of fighting off exhaustion.

The Sleep Doc is trying to fix my circadian rhythm by having me take the dose so early. Once that's fixed, I get to go in and get tested for sleep apnea. [My circadian rhythm has been about 8 hours off... my body wants to fall asleep when it's nearly dawn, and it fights sleep until then. It also doesn't want to wake up until noon. This has not made my life very easy. :P My Mom has the same problem. Ditto for her Dad. And no matter how tired I've been by NOT sleeping in in the morning, I still get my 2nd wind and am awake in the evening and late into the night. Ghrrrrr.]

I went in to see the allergist. He had me tested for allergies. [I sniffle, snark, snore, swallow post-nasal drip, and throat clear at night in bed. Also a factor in my insomnia.] After the torture, 'er, I mean testing, it was determined that I am not allergic to ANY of the 30 items they tested for. So I probably have a nose that is easily irritated by dust or particulate matter
or something, or I'm allergic to something not on the big list of 30 items.

It doesn't take much nose blowing for my nose's tissue to get inflamed and restrict my breathing. I have a very picky nose. :)

I was born premature, with a crappy immune system that has slowly as I've gotten older become a more robust immune system. I expected to be allergic to everything I was tested for. It's weird to realize that just 'cause I'm a little more susceptible to colds or sore throats doesn't mean I'm going to have allergy problems!

I am NOT allergic to dogs. VERY VERY HAPPY SIGH. [Where are my German Shepherds? Must go pet and hug and adore them now... :) ]

I tried flonase out. [Per Sleep doctor, can't take any anti-histamines, especially as I became addicted to them and was using them in lieu of sleeping pills!] Flonase has no anti-histamine. I think it might have helped a little, but it also gave me Flonase post-nasal drip! Which I could almost taste... and it tasted weird.

Anyway, thank the Lord, progress is being made.

For a while there my favorite word was "defeated". I think I can change that now to "Hope". :)

And now to try to alternative nasal sprays the allergist sent me home with today. :)

To all of you with insomnia, allergies, or noses that are faking allergies, my utmost sympathy and empathy goes out to you.

Favorite hair color so far

Red is GOOD. :)

Funny Quotes

From "Robot Chicken":

Darth Vader: Luke... I am your father!
Luke Skywalker: Noooo! That's impossible!
Darth Vader: It's true! And Princess Leia is your sister!
Luke Skywalker: That's... improbable.
Darth Vader: And the Empire will be defeated by Ewoks!
Luke Skywalker: That's... highly unlikely...
Darth Vader: And as a kid, I built C-3PO!
Luke Skywalker: ...wha?
[time passes]
Darth Vader: And you know that all-powerful Force? That's really just microscopic bacteria called Midichlorians!
Luke Skywalker: [smoking a cigarette] Look, if you're not gonna take this seriosuly, I'm outta here!


From "WKRP in Cincinnati"

Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.
-----
[after an elderly couple has broken into the DJ booth]
Dr. Johnny Fever: All right, you two, up against the wall! I don't what you want but you should know I've killed a lot of old people in my time. And I'm not above doing it again.
-----
Bailey Quarters: Have you noticed all the men in Landersville are going bald? I wonder if there's a nuclear power plant in the area.
-----
Andy Travis: It's a good thing I had an extra pair of jeans in my office.
-----
Les Nessman: What is an executrix?
Herb Tarlek: Oh it has to do with whips, chains, and leather. That sort of thing.
-----
Dr. Johnny Fever: Do you have enough money to feed yourself?
Les Nessman: Yes.
Dr. Johnny Fever: I don't, can you loan me some money?
Les Nessman: No.
Dr. Johnny Fever: Can you loan me some food?
-----
Jennifer Marlowe: Mr. Craven I would like to ask you a question about the phone company.
Wayne Craven: Well that's what I'm here for, fire away.
Jennifer Marlowe: You know the phone company won't give you a specific time when they'll come to install your phone. You have to wait all day long. Like most people, I work and can't take the whole day off.
Wayne Craven: Uh-Hunh.
Jennifer Marlowe: So Saturday is the only day I'll be here. But because so many other people have the same problem, you can wait up to two, three weeks or more for service.
Wayne Craven: That's correct.
Jennifer Marlowe: Could you tell me why that is?
Wayne Craven: Of course, it's like that because we don't have any competition.
-----
Les Nessman: Last night at that house, did anything happen?
Jennifer Marlowe: I met a lady whose car I have to replace and I discovered we have a sex pervert in the neighborhood.
Les Nessman: No, I mean did anything unusual happen?
-----
[Venus is showing off his flashy wardrobe]
Venus Flytrap: I only came downtown to have one of my suits serviced.
Dr. Johnny Fever: I'll bet a suit like that stays in the shop most of the time.
Venus Flytrap: I got suits I can't get parts for.
-----
[Newscast from opening credits]
Reporter: And the senator, while insisting he was not intoxicated, could not explain his nudity.
-----
[at a record store hosting a WKRP remote broadcast]
Herb Tarlek: Del, goshdarnit I've got to go, but if you need anything, anything at all, I'll be in my car somewhere.
-----
[Johnny is lying to keep from being beaten up by a big thug named Dave]
Dr. Johnny Fever: I'm Andy Travis, glad to meet you, (pointing to the real Andy Travis) that's my brother Randy and that's old Venus of course.
Venus Flytrap: Of course.
Dr. Johnny Fever: (referring to Dave) We don't know who the mountainoid is.
Dave: Name's Dave.
-----
Venus Flytrap: [Fever runs into the booth and hides behind the coat rack] What are you doin', man! I'm on the air!
Dr. Johnny Fever: Herb Tarlek is selling life insurance!
Venus Flytrap: Oh, no! Close the blinds before he sees us!
Andy Travis: [Walks into the booth] What have I told you guys about goofing off when one of you is supposed to be on the air?
Dr. Johnny Fever: Herb Tarlek is selling life insurance!
Andy Travis: Oh, no!
[slams the door and hides with Fever]
-----
Les Nessman: [saying that Bailey shouldn't produce the show] This isn't the Ohio State School of Journalism, this is the big time.
-----
[Arthur Carlson has just warned a religious figure to be careful picking who to boycott]
Dr. Bob Halyers: Well then, I'll have to do what is says in the good book, learn to love my enemy.
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: You're gonna have to, because I don't think you can trust your friends.

Child-safe movies? -- edited parts bold and italics

I've been getting more and more exposure to the concept of movies that are kid safe. My husband and I have friends who have a sweet 4 year old girl. And my office-mate has two daughters, 11 and 9 I think.

My husband and I were over for dinner at our friend's place. "The Abyss" came on. I totally spaced on the scary parts of the movie, and our friends seemed to be ok with watching it as the Father spaced on the scary parts too, and the Mother had never seen it before. And we really got into it.

The 4 year old got totally into it when I explained that the aliens were friendly, and very pretty, all pink and blue and full of light. She'd keep asking where did they go, when would we see them again? So that aspect of the movie didn't scare her.

And thankfully we were at the part after they'd already recovered the missile, so she didn't get to see all the dead bodies in the sunken sub.

But I forgot about the guy who, when he lost it and went crazy, at one point was doing self-injury, i.e., cutting into his arm.
Oops.

And for some reason I thought we were already past the point where the hero's wife has to allow herself to drown and go into hypothermia, so the husband can swim with her to the underwater complex, where it takes some time to revive her.

So we did alot of "don't look, sweetie, this part is scary!", and put our hands in front of her eyes. And I told her that the wife was just asleep. And that she was just really deeply asleep, so it was hard for them to wake her up. "Uhm, but don't worry, you won't fall that deeply asleep! It will be easy for you to be woken up. Uhm, you do understand that you'll be ok, that you'll be able to wake up, right? You know this is just a story, right?" [Shut-up, shut-up, shut-up! Making it worse...]

Well, the daughter was fine, thankfully! But the Mom told me later that she (the Mom) was a little weirded out... i.e., the Mom kept expecting the water monster (the tube of water that goes into the complex to take a look around) to grab her (the Mom) when she was in the pool!!! [The daughter however was not expecting the water monster while she was swimming in the pool. :) The daughter was ironically totally fine.]

So apparently I was re-assuring the wrong person when we were watching the Abyss. :)

I think I should show the daughter Alien and Aliens next. :)

And talking to my office-mate, I realized that there are just too many movies that would be perfect for kids if they just left out the sex scenes. For instance, Splash is really cute, but because of the nudity and boob-age, and all the rampant sex, it's just not kid-safe. I can't remember if there's alot of swearing in it or not.

Shoot, even the cartoons aren't safe. All the death, and violence.

I told my office-mate about "The Pacifier". I thought it was adorable. But when I mentioned that yeah, the father in it gets killed, but you don't see it... well, the movie was out.

So I gave it some thought and realized the only movie I could think of that isn't a cartoon, and that might be kid-safe, is Napolean Dynamite. I think. I mean, there's no swearing. No nudity. There is some violence, in the form of shoving people around or throwing steaks at people. Or when the cow gets shot, although you don't see it, you just see the reaction of all the cute little kids in the school bus.

And there's this online relationship. Oh, and come to think of it, there's references to boob enhancers. Hmmm... ok, maybe that one isn't really kid-material either. Come to think of it, I can't remember the rating on it.

*SIGH*. One day we will have kids. I have to totally clean up my language. And I don't think we'll be watching much more of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, or Robot Chicken, at least not with the kids in the same room! :) And Family Guy is definitely out. Wow.

Please, tell me there's some kid-safe stuff out there that isn't going to bore the socks off me???

Sigh

So, I'm trying to fix this whole insomnia thing. I've tallied what I think is screwing me up.

1. Sinuses, stuffy nose, dry throat, post-nasal drip, keeping me from falling asleep, and waking me up coughing.

2. My biological clock is suited better to the island of Palau, which is north of Australia, east of the Philippines, and south-west of Guam. [I went scuba diving there. I think I finally got some decent rest.]

3. I sleep lightly. My husband's snoring, my snoring, the dogs making noises, or the dogs just STARING at me will wake me up.

4. I take stuff to help me sleep: stuff to shut up my sinuses and to make me groggy, to try to combat my screwed up biological clock. Unfortunately, anti-histamine's have a side effect that is similar to caffeine, i.e., you have to pee alot. This also wakes me up. [Either that or I'm just getting old. :P ]

5. As I said, I snore. Since I've often woken up with a headache, I'm beginning to wonder if I have sleep apnea.

6. When the sun comes up, my body can no longer fight off fatigue, or the anti-histamine. And the stuff that is either blooming at night, or that is sinking to the ground at night as the earth cools... whatever the heck that is setting my sinuses off at night, eases up. And I can rest.

7. Oh, yeah. My brain chatters. It's hard to shut it up in order to sleep.

If I try to tough it out, I am totally wasted and sleepy and useless all day. I can't keep my eyes open. Then, when night-time comes, no matter how bloody tired I am, I get my damned second wind.

If I give in and get more sleep, after the sun has risen, I run terribly late for work, and feel more and more like my life is out of control. But at least I can think at work. However, in order to get all 8 hours in, I end up working through lunch, and working into the evening. :P

My Mom has the same sleeping problems. My Sister told me that my Mom's Dad was also the exact same way.

I'm doomed.

Anyway, I am going onto this special diet that was created and/or managed by a medical clinic in town. I'm doing this because I'm sure being fat isn't helping... shoot, it contributes to snoring and sleep apnea.

And I'm going to go see a sleep doctor, and get wired up, so they can see what makes me tick at night.

And I'm going to go get tested to see what the heck I'm allergic to, and what is the best way to treat it... i.e., to go see if I need a prescription, as opposed to doing the over-the-counter thing.

Finally, I've been seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist... originally for my sleep problems, but it ended up becoming all about getting my OCD treated, and hashing out stuff I'm mad at my parent's for. But last time I saw the shrink I told him I was still having big problems. Next time I see him he's giving me sleeping pills... I stupidly told him last time that I wanted to talk to the psychologist first about ways to help myself sleep at night. That was a month ago, and I haven't been able to see her... the original appointment got cancelled, and the replacement appointment... well, I overslept and skipped it so I could get more hours in at work. :P

So the next time I see my shrink, I'm getting a ton of bloody sleeping pills.

I'm going to get healthy sleep if it kills me. Ghrrrr.

I'm going to lose weight and be a healthier person. It is GOING to happen.

Sigh.

I will not start making soap and forming an army! I will not become Ed Norton of fight club! Ghrrrrrrrrrr.

Anyway, I am tired of disappointing myself. I'm tired of not being the person I want to be. I don't want to be a night person. I don't want to be fat. I want to be on time at work, and wake up energetic and rested instead of wiped out and still so tired I can't see straight.

Ok, that's my rant for the night. :P