Major suckage

You know how you have work friends that you aren't very close to, but you still see every day? Or at least every week? And you have a sortof camaraderie? And you count them as your friend, but as a friend you don't know very well and should probably get to know better?

Well, I won't be getting that chance now.

Someone I've worked with at 2 different companies is dead.

He was a bit of a thrill seeker, which is a mentality I'm beginning to understand, as I'm realizing I have a bit of that streak in myself.

He went hang gliding... even rode thermals as high as 18,000 feet, with and without oxygen. [When the latter happened, he looked at his altimeter, said "oh sh*t", and decided it was time to go lower!]

He surfed.

He went scuba diving.

And he rode motorcycles.

He was intense, and fun to talk to. And a nice person in general.

He works in a different building than I do. Well, "worked". I haven't talked to him much since he came over to my current company. Last week I talked to him because a friend of mine is trying to get work there. While doing so, I got to know him a little bit better, and found out his interest in hang gliding and in scuba.

I told him when he and his dive buddy decided to go out again, to please let me know (if he wanted to), and me and my husband would go with him!

I also heard about how he took a few risks in scuba... and warned him about it. I've yet to see "bad things" happen while scuba diving, but I've read enough and been taught enough about them to do my best to stay safe! I didn't want to read about him later as a statistic.

I was warning him about the wrong sport.

There's this favorite road bikers like to ride on called Jalama. Or maybe that's the city the road is near, I don't know. Two bikers died over the weekend. He was one of them. He was in the left lane and hit oncoming traffic. I think he may have taken a turn too fast, and so had to use more space to make the turn.

I found out this morning about it. And I also found out he is married with a 2 year old child!

How could I not know that about him? How could I feel like he was "a friend", and not know he was married and had a kid? What kind of "friend" am I?

There's more that distresses me about this. But it's of a religious nature, and I'm not ready to talk about that.

I feel like I somehow failed him, like maybe I could have said something to prevent his death. Or like I could have at least known him better before he died. It's really strange. I mean, I used to bump into him alot at the first company we both worked at, but we didn't really chat seriously. And then I go chat with him last week, find out we have alot of interests in common, and now he's gone.

I hate that his life has been cut short so soon. And I hate to think of what his wife is going through, and how his child is going to grow up without his father.

I hate that this was an accident. That it was preventable. That it was death due to a simple error in judgment.

And I hate that there's not much I can do after the fact. Can't undo his death. Can't bring him back so his wife and child aren't ...

Shit.

And now I'm kindof afraid to get back onto my own motorcycle. And I know I'm going to be worrying whenever my husband is out riding his.

This has totally rattled me.

We (my company) are going to hear later this week when the funeral is, and if there's going to be some sortof fund we can donate to.