Thursday, December 08, 2005

Spousal abuse

I, it is sad to say, am a victim of violence. Spousal abuse, to be exact.

There I was. Minding my own business. Snoring away. 2 in the morning.

When out of the blue knuckles come flying at me in something below warp speed, and rap on the left side of the back of my skull.

Me: "Huh? What? Where? Ouuuuccchhhh...."

My husband: "Huh? Did I hit you? Oh, sorry love!"

Yeah right. Sure you are.

Him: "I was dreaming that I had just woken up, and someone was standing over me, attacking me. So I hit them as hard as I could. Good thing sleep mostly restricts muscle movement. I didn't hit you very hard, did I?"

Me: "No... I think... it's all a little fuzzy. I'm so used to my accidentally striking you that I thought I'd just woken up, sat up straight, and somehow cracked the back of my head on your chin or something!"

I am well known for reaching out to caress his face in the darkness and instead almost poking his eyes out... I'm used to being the klutzy person who injures him, not the recipient of accidental injury.

My husband wasn't feeling well, which probably explains the weird dream. And he kept tossing and turning because of it, and grinding his teeth. I think he was sleeping fairly well through it, but he kept waking me up. After getting clocked at 2am, I was then woken up again at 3am by the dogs, who wanted to go outside.

I decided to spend the rest of the night on the couch. It felt safer. And probably more restful!

[And in case you wonder, my husband feels much better today. But I'm still suspicious about this whole "I was hitting someone in a dream" excuse. Yeah... right.]

But now... what to do tonight?

Thinking of wearing my motorcycle helmet for protection tonight...

1 comment:

Radioactive Jam said...

You'd be able to judge which is worse: helmet head, bed head, or knucklehead.

And dream-fighting - yeah. Suspect at best. Of course, as long as you don't hear him snickering you should give him the benefit of the doubt. And maybe 3, 4 pair of socks for each hand.