Saturday, June 30, 2007

Things I've learned since getting pregnant

1. No matter how big and fat my ego is, I will be wiped out by being pregnant. Even in the early months, before I balloon up.

2. My feet may increase in size by 0.5 to 1 shoe sizes. And after pregnancy, stay that new size.

3. The skin around my nipples will darken. Alot. Making my boobies look like bullseyes. Probably so the baby knows where to go when it's born. It will happen WHILE PREGNANT, in the first few months, way before the baby needs to find the boobies!

4. People who have never had children will have ALL KINDS OF ADVICE to give me, from all kinds of sources.

5. I will not surprisingly resent any advice given me from those who have never even had kids in the first place.

6. I will listen ATTENTIVELY to any advice from those who HAVE been pregnant, or are married to someone who was pregnant.

7. I will often be somewhat in denial about being pregnant. 'Cause it's somewhat easier to deal with thinking I'm just getting really fat, rather than thinking about the impending increase in responsibility!

8. Hearing my best friends tell me to "Enjoy my pregnancy" will leave me laughing hysterically. ;)

Saturday, June 16, 2007

The good, the bad, and the stressful

On June 10th, I turned 39.

Whoa. Thirty-nine. That's 3 * 13.

Heh. That explains the past few weeks. :) No wonder so much weird crap has gone down.

Normally though, 13 is a lucky number for me. I got married on September 13. My parents live at 169... that's 13 squared. Shoot, 12 apostles + Jesus = 13. Or when you consider one of them had to be replaced, that's a total of 13 apostles, but the replacement was necessary as part of the plan of having Jesus die for our sins.

There were 12 tribes of Israel, but one was split in two tribes, to make the total 13, and one of the 13 was separated, the Levites, to administer to God. So, 12 tribes of Israel, but really kinda 13, you know?

So 13 has always been kinda cool in my book.

So, weird crap has gone down recently. But so has good crap.

Anyway, here we go:

Friday, May 18:
Got a high-power ultrasound of the baby. It no longer looks like an alien. Whoo-hoo! No clue on the sex yet. But what was really funny was the kid is definitely a morning person. The ultrasound occurred at 10am, and the baby kept squirming around like, "Get that THING out of my face! I'm trying to SLEEP here!"

Nice to know it's taking after Mom and Dad, LOL. :)

The ultrasound, and the first of 2 special blood tests, show so far that the odds of Down's Syndrome are really low. Thank God!

I'll post the newer pictures up on my flickr account, and then setup my blog to include my flickr pictures. :) My husband showed me that he'd done that on his blog. Very cool feature I didn't know about yet.

At around 12:30pm that same day, we took off for a 9+ hour drive to Arizona, to visit my husband's sister and her family. Part of the drive went through Los Angeles. It took about an hour to go 20 or 30 miles at one point, and we thought we were going to lose it. It was not one of the prettier parts of Los Angeles.

We stopped at Indio for a late lunch/early dinner. That was trippy. When I was between maybe 5 and 7, my parents and I lived there for about 1 or 2 years. I thought I recognized one of the schools, but couldn't be sure. Couldn't tell which apartment complex had been ours. It was weird, comparing childhood memories with the reality of the place. I remember it being kindof a fun place. But driving through there, it felt like one of those places that you'd try to escape from as soon as possible. [My apologies to those who think otherwise.]

We made it to our relatives after 9pm, got fed some leftover pizza, and crashed.

Saturday, May 19:
We went to a charity dog event Saturday morning. While there I was bitten by a cantakerous old beagle!!!

Yes, Snoopy was bitten by a beagle!

I was petting the beagle, and turned to talk to it's owner, when it turned and snapped at my hand. I'm not sure what Cesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer, would say about that. It didn't break the skin, and it had had all it's shots, so I told the owner not to worry about it. But in spite of the fact that we own 2 huge German Shepherds, I was a little flustered. I made a point of petting more dogs, and especially of petting these 2 HUGE Bull Mastiffs. The owner brought one out of it's crate and asked me to hold it while she went to wet down a towel for it -- it was hotter than hell in Arizona, and it was only May! Her poor dogs were baking, even in the shade of her tent. The female Mastiff, "Bling", wanted to go follow her master. I was able to keep her in place, but it was hysterical! She was maybe 120 pounds? And all muscle. But she was a gentle giant, and I fell in instant love with her.

I ended up sitting on the grass or on my knees petting Bling, while her owner tied a wet towel to her. At one point Bling majorly LEANED into me, and my black jeans were soaked. :) I fed Bling popcorn from my hands... she was so gentle. But our relatives were a little nervous about directly feeding her. They threw her a popcorn piece on occasion. Most of our relatives pet Bling and other dogs... the kids especially. But I don't think they are big dog people, LOL!

I wanted to take Bling home with us. :)

That afternoon, I swam in their pool with their 2 kids. Chased the kids around a bit, and figured out 3 things: I'm old, I'm out of shape, and I'm pregnant. Quit trying to chase them around and kindof lazed around in the pool.

I think I wore myself out. Saturday night we went to one of the local Indian casino's to see some singer impersonators. I felt sick, and realized I was hungry, even though I hadn't felt hungry. My husband was really sweet and chased down some crackers for me. We sat for a while listening to some Elvis impersonator, but my husband's not really into this sortof thing. So we gave up, ate dinner there, and did a little gambling. My husband and his sister's husband went off to play cards. My Sister-in-law and I tried some Star Wars themed slot machines. They were fun, but ate our money. As did most of the other slots. We went off to find the card tables and watch our respective husbands. My brother-in-law was done losing money, so I sat in his place, and "borrowed" chips from my husband. We were playing black jack. My husband is really good at it, but I still managed to lose some more money.

My tolerance for losing money is about $20.00 to $40.00 bucks. When I'd go visit my Sister in Reno, even when I was of gambling age, I'd go play video games, and my Dad would watch me. Mom and Sister would go play slot machines. I figured, I was going to lose money anyway, I might as well as be well entertained. And go play Star Wars, or Centipede, or PacMan, or Asteroids. Or Arkanoid, or Galaga, etc. Something less mind-numbing and much more entertaining that slot machines.

In some things I have an addictive personality. But not in things that don't consistently pay out. My Vampire novels consistently provide awesome entertainment. Slot machines tease you and mostly take your money. Alcohol gives you a buzz but kills brain cells and makes you feel like crap the next day if you overdo it. So basically, I rarely gamble, although I found black jack to be alot of fun. I sometimes drink alcohol, but not while preggers. And I'll read Vampire novels by good authors until the cows come home. :)

Sunday, May 20th:
I got up. I had some coffee, and some breakfast. And then I went back to bed and slept until 1 or 2pm!

This whole pregnancy thing has me wiped out most of the time. Apparently, I overdid the excitement and activity levels on Saturday!

I pretty much just spent most of Sunday either resting or hanging out. No swimming, no doing much of anything until Sunday evening. And then, we did something really cool. We went to the Tempe Improv and saw Christopher Titus perform his latest comedy act. He's gone through a divorce, and his dad recently died. Only this guy can make misfortune SO funny! Still, I felt bad for what he'd been through so recently. But I was glad he could use it for his comedy routine.

Monday, May 21st:
We drove home. My husband has a new car. I volunteered to drive the last 3 or 4 hours of the trip. It was a little stressful until we hit 101, which I've lived off of for most of my life, it seems. So getting back onto 101 was a little like coming home.

Driving my husband's new car isn't quite second nature to me yet. It has alot more power than my 1996 Saturn. But I zip around in the Saturn like it's an extension of my body. Not so with my husband's more powerful, cooler car! So I guess the 3 or 4 hours of driving, after the 4 or 5 hours of riding, took it out of me. We got home, and I had what an eye doctor later told me was an ocular migraine. I.E., you have weird light disturbance in your eye, but you don't have the actual pain.

I did have a headache, but I wouldn't call it a migraine. I've had bad headaches before, but I've got friends who have had migraines before, and I just can't think that I've ever had a headache as bad as what they've experienced... even my worst headaches that were almost migraine-like. I had one as a kid where I just went to bed in a darkened room with no sound, trying not to barf. That might have been a true migraine...

Come to think of it, I think I'd had something weird with my eyes that time, too. I can't remember what the symptoms were, but...

Anyway, not counting when I was a child, I've therefore had 2 ocular migraines. The first one was about 9 to 12 months ago, and then there was this one. Since this was the second time, I wasn't quite as flustered about it. The first one went away after about 20 minutes. This one did too: I even watched a movie on my laptop.

The disturbance was like this weird, zig-zag, colorful pattern in the upper right hand peripheral vision part of my right eye. It was pretty trippy. It extended a little into my non-peripheral vision, making reading a little strange.

Tuesday, May 22nd:
I stayed home sick. My head still hurt, and I was wiped out. Heh: I needed a vacation from my vacation! I think riding/driving for 9 hours was a bit much for me.

While we were in Arizona, my husband's Dad took care of the dogs for us. He LOVES our dogs, and our dogs ADORE him. :) Ellie will kiss his face for minutes at a time, sometimes gently trying to groom his stubbly chin for him. Boss will lay on the floor next to him for hours. The dogs were happy to see us Monday night, but I think they missed my husband's Dad. :) I think they were happy to have me stay home with them Tuesday, although I wasn't very entertaining, LOL.

Wednesday May 23rd:
I met with my new ObGyn. My old ObGyn was awesome, but not on my health plan. Ghrrrr. Paying for a delivery out of pocket is not a financially wise move. My new ObGyn was awesome, as well, so I was down with that.

The place has a bunch of different doctor's who rotate being on call for baby deliveries. I got all their names down, and called my insurance. My new ObGyn is on my health plan. Not all the on-call doctors are! I need to call my insurance again: I now have FULL first and last names (before I just had last names), and I have the names of one or two more doctors that weren't on the sheet of paper they gave me. But I'm wondering: if they are all contracted to be on call with my ObGyn, does that mean I'm ok if one of them who isn't on my plan delivers the baby? Or do I need to, 'er, hold the baby in until the right doctor is on call???

STRESS. :P Changing doctors, and still in a mess. Ghrrrrr. I hate insurance.

Wednesday, May 30th:
Work was majorly stressful. I'd like to explain what happened, but I'm not sure I can do that w/o someone else recognizing where I work, and my getting in trouble for talking about work stuff. So let's just say I made some mistakes, but didn't see the consequences yet.

Thursday, May 31st:
Major consequences to the mistakes. Learned some good lessons from this. Was glad the lab was in a kind of dry spell, else the mistake would have caused alot of problems.

Friday, June 1st:
More consequences of the mistakes, much worse. Part of the mistakes were due to my doing something someone else said to do, w/o checking with yet another person. Part of the consequences were due to my mistake, and part were somewhat coincidental. But I didn't know that the coincidental part was mostly coincidental, so I pretty much went on a major, stressful guilt trip until I was told it was mostly coincidental.

I went home, still feeling sick to my stomach over the whole mess.

While trying to relax and eat dinner with my husband, I heard a loud snap coming from the kitchen. I got up, and discovered a dead mouse in the lower kitchen cabinet. The one I'd cleaned 1/2 of late last year from a mouse before. I'd cleaned the half that held the dishes, and ALL the dishes in that cabinet. I hadn't gotten to the other half that held food... I was wiped out. I looked at the mouse, closed the door, and went back and sat down. And greatly wished I could get roaring drunk!!!

The following week, I was a little shell-shocked when it came to going near the system I've been writing code for. Thankfully I spent most (or was it all?) of the week at my desk.

Thursday, June 7th:
I tried to go get a blood test. It's a special blood test that's part of the testing to ensure the baby doesn't have downs syndrome. If this 2nd blood test, plus another special sonogram go well, I can avoid the icky amnio needle thingy.

So I go to the place on Patterson that I typically go to to get blood drawn. It's really close to work, and so is very convenient. Well, on June 4th, they moved!!! I look at the address for where they moved to... it's only a little ways away. I misremembered it while driving there, and ended up going into another medical facility and asking them where they'd moved to. Apparently I wasn't the only one who was getting lost trying to figure out where they were now, as this gal handed me this piece of paper with the map printed on it, and gave me directions. I finally find the place, walk in, and the gal has no idea what the slip of paper I hand her is for. She ends up calling my new ObGyn, and out that this test has to be done downtown, about a 15 minute drive away. I look at my watch... I'd wasted half an hour already. I decide to try again tomorrow.

Friday, June 8th:
I get access to the test set, and am testing my code. I find out I have all day on the system, so I decide, after lunch, to go ahead and go get that blood test. I drive downtown. It's 1:30pm. The clinic closes at 1pm on Fridays.


I drive back to work, and consider taking a knife to my arm, bleeding into a plastic bag, and mailing the damned thing.

Sunday, June 10th:
I am 39.

My husband and I go see Pirates of the Carribean. It was pretty cool, although the ending was a little too "Greek Tragedy" for my husband. But it was still funny, and the action was cool. I enjoyed it.

My husband and I, and our friends, their 6 year old daughter, and their newborn baby girl, all go out for sushi. We go to this special sushi place, Sakana, in Montecito. It is the BEST sushi I've ever had.

I search the menu, find about 3 rolls that sound good and all have cooked food in them. We have an awesome time. Sigh. :)

Our friend, R, the mother of the 2 girls, talks about how this is the first raw sushi, i.e., sashimi, she's had since before she got pregnant. Her baby girl is getting close to being weanable, and R's milk is drying up, anyway. She had an awesome time. :) But what cracked me up was that she said that she went out with friends for sushi while pregnant, and was miserable eating cooked sushi while they got to eat all the raw sushi! She said she wished she had never gone.

Heh. Then she looked up at me, while I ate my cooked sushi, and said, "Sorry...". I just cracked up. :) That was just priceless!!!

And no, I wasn't miserable. I was salivating heavily as their 6 year old ate raw salmon sashimi... ohhhh... my favorite. But I definitely wasn't miserable. :)

Tuesday, June 12th:
I go downtown to the clinic, the one that was closed on Friday afternoon. My ObGyn wanted me to get a heart monitor strapped to me. She wanted to verify if the diagnosis I'd had when I was a child, of having a heart murmer, was correct. I could have grown out of it, or it could have been a mistake. Considering I was pregnant, it was something that they wanted to keep an eye on.

I had 5 sensors taped to my chest, in places that would still allow me to remove my bra at night. I plunked the recorder into my jeans pocket. Then headed down to the basement and FINALLY got the damned blood drawn.

Over the course of the day, I realized I would have MUCH rather had 5 blood tests than spend another minute wearing those damned, sticky, itchy sensors. I kept checking to ensure they hadn't come loose. I ended up taping them over the course of the day. And every time I moved the wrong way, I felt them trying to pull loose. So by the end of the day, my back was a mess of knots. And I was having a hard time not scratching at all those itchy sensors.

I went to bed that night, and had a terrible time going to sleep. I had taped everything securely, but still... At 2am, I got up to go to the bathroom, and realized the recording unit had fallen out of my sweat-pants pocket. I plunked it back in, went to the bathroom (while bending over at a funny angle in order to not pull the cables, while the recorder still sat in my pocket), washed my hands, clipped the pocket closed with a binder clip, and went back to bed.

Wednesday, June 13th:
I drove down to the clinic, got the taped sensors removed, handed in the diary I was supposed to keep while wired up, and drove home. I gave up and crawled back into bed, trying to catch up on all the sleep I'd lost during the night. Got to work REALLY late. *SIGH*

Thursday, June 14th:
I got time on the system again. Part of the system had been worked on, but I didn't realize that. I did something, and saw water spilling onto the floor!

Not. Again.

After talking to the engineer who designed the system, I mopped up the water and kept testing my software.

Later that day, the engineer who designed the system, and I, heard something leaking. He made a note to go replace a valve. Then he went home. I later thought I heard other areas leaking, and made a note to let the engineer know.

Later that night, I worried that what I'd done had caused the leaks. I was wrong, but I didn't know it, and I lost alot of sleep over it.

Friday, June 15th:
The engineer who works on the system explained that I hadn't caused the leaks.

I got back on the bloody system, and continued testing software. And crawled home around 7pm.

I told my husband, "I am SO done."

I can't be doing this. I can't be this gun shy. I can't be stressing myself out like this. Thankfully, I'm almost done with this version of the software. I hope the next week will see it pass the final testing, after the final changes are made, and that if not the end of this week, maybe the start of the following week will see it installed and in use. And I won't have to go near that system for a while. It's too complex, and while I'm preggers, my brain is mush. :P And my ability to stress myself out seems to be amped up.

I just feel like I'm a jinx right now.

Well, sorry for the insane length of this post. But if you've wondered what's been happening in my life, well, now you know. :)

Oh. BTW. Happy Fathers Day. :)