Doctor, Doctor, give me the news...

So, Tuesday 12/11/2007 I went to see my ObGyn for some various concerns.

My c-section incision was oozing quite a bit. No fever though.

My back was hurting, and I almost felt like maybe I had a UTI (Urinary Trace Infection).

And most importantly, my blood pressure was through through the roof.

So, the nurse practitioner looked at my incision. It wasn't infected, and it's designed to heal from the innermost incision to the outermost. And they leave room so that any fluids that need to ooze out can ooze out. So, instead of the flimsy 4x4 inch squares of gauze, we were advised to use a pad to catch the fluids. So now I'm wearing 2 pads per pair of painties, in a kind of t-square formation... one to catch the "lochia", and one to catch the ooze.

The nurse also re-taped the incision. But the tape lasted as long as the tape lasted last time: about 2 hours! Told hubby not to re-tape it a 3rd time. Waste of effort. :)

Using my pregger SI-belt to hold 2nd pad in place over the incision.

Peed in a cup for the UTI test. Came back negative. Wee! And noticed something really cool: I could aim alot better now, LOL! W/O baby in the way in my belly, I actually could almost see what I was doing. :)

Blood pressure was still bad. Was told that, at next visit Thursday of next week, if it was still bad, would be sent to someone to look into getting treatment for high blood pressure.

My blood pressure during the tail end of the pregnancy kept going up. I guess I managed to get gestational high blood pressure. Theoretically, it will hopefully clear itself up a month from delivery, unless it's decided to become a problem for me in my non-pregger state.

So, went back home. A couple of days go by, and I feel short of breath. Call my ObGyn. I figure the shortness of breath is because my ObGyn had to practically sit on my tummy to push Logan down towards the c-section incision. [He was still way too far up... hadn't dropped down hardly at all. 42 weeks, and the kid had NO intention of leaving, LOL!]

ObGyn says that I need to go to the ER.

No!!!!!! Not the hospital AGAIN!!!! Sigh.

She also says to pick up another pain prescription from her office on the way. She had given me 2 refills on her original prescription, on a special prescription pad that allows for the scary pain meds to be prescribed with refills, but the pharmacy had still decided to limit it to one filling per prescription on the medication due to some law. But again, the prescription pad my ObGyn used should have taken care of that law as far as refills were concerned.

BTW, if I've got typo's galore here, please forgive me. Although my hips are feeling better, and I haven't had any real water retention or any heart burn to speak of, I STILL CAN'T FEEL MOST OF MY FINGERS. It's worse in my right hand. Sigh.

So, Thursday, 12/13/2007, we pack Logan into his car seat (for his 3rd car ride since his birth), and head off to first my ObGyn's, then the ER.

At the ER, they check my blood pressure, draw a bunch of blood, take my temp, ask me a bunch of questions, etc. I try to regurgitate all of my symptoms. It's hard when you aren't allowed to eat or drink anything because results from tests might send you in for surgery, LOL! Blood sugar was tanking. Thankfully, Logan slept through everything, and so never needed feeding.

They gave me a CT scan to check for blood clots. Didn't find anything. Ended up very happily being sent home after being given a blood pressure med to take right then, then another for the morning. Told to see ObGyn next day so she could either prescribe the same med, or something else.

Felt better, but tired.

Next morning, got up early 'cause wasn't sure when would see ObGyn. Called ObGyn, explained ER wanted me to see her today. Took shower. Fed/changed baby, ate stuff.

Got into ObGyn just before noon. Splitting headache. Blood pressure still pretty high. Showed ObGyn results. She talked to another doctor. Ended up with another prescription. Told to go back to ER if headache got worse or didn't go away. And to stay in bed for the next 4 days, except for Logan's doc appointment Monday. And to come in again on Tuesday.

Hubby took me and Logan home, then went back out with grocery list I'd given him and prescriptions to fill.

I pretty much slept most of 12/14/2007 away, except for feeding/changing Logan. I was running from that headache. Around 7 or 9pm, woke up and the bloody thing was finally GONE. Thank you, Lord!!!

So, have been waited on hand and feet.

During the whole ER experience, was worried about what parents were going to think.

While I was in the hospital having 2 days of unsuccessful inducement, they flashed back to when I was a sick little kid, and they'd take me to the hospital once a year for a week at a time, to have the doctor's check on me and see how I was surviving. [Doc's thought I had a genetic disease that either God healed me of, or God decided I didn't have, LOL! I may in fact have just been sickly due to being born puny, 6 weeks premature, and never getting breast fed. Latter was not my Mom's fault, however.]

So, they are flashing back to when they were feeling helpless to help me. Mom's got congestive heart failure, and is nearly 80. Dad's nearly 86. If some stress takes Mom out, Dad is likely to follow from losing Mom.

Have been trying to keep them from seeing me in pain. Didn't think they could handle it. Didn't want the delivery to be the death of them!!!

So there I was, in the ER. Hoping that they weren't worrying too much about me.

I was stressed out. I wasn't doing "calm blue ocean" very well right then. But I've been trying to learn how to maintain the calm blue ocean thing.

Like, when I was in the hospital earlier for the inducement/c-section, I really didn't have the luxury to feel sorry for myself that I was getting poked with twelve billion needles. Remembering how I used to be terrified of needles, and how that was caused by being traumatized as a little kid, wasn't going to be productive towards my surviving delivery. Honestly, instead, I've been enjoying how I'm no LONGER terrified of needles.

I'm still a bit spooked by hospitals, but I was also enjoying the fact that I trusted that everyone there was on my side, and had no intention of hurting me, or allowing me to be in pain if they could help it.

I guess you could say that I was enjoying having a positive hospital experience rather than allowing self-pity to come into play about how I was justified in being scared or angry at having to suffer through the hospital again in my life.

I'd like to take credit for my more positive attitude, but I figure it's God, plus hubby's training, plus Zoloft and alot of kind people drawing my blood that have turned thing around for me, LOL! Ok, that and the birthing classes making me ready for what to expect. :)

Anyway, I've been trying to not react to crisis's with panic, but rather with calm blue ocean attitude. Whether the crisis is my own or someone else's. Not always doing it well. But have seen some improvement.

And ironically, I want my parents to do the same. Sigh. They understandably responded with, "well, now that you have your own child, you understand how we can still worry about you". They sorta missed the point, LOL! Because of their health, they can't really indulge that worry. They can be concerned, but it needs to be calm concern. 'Cause I want them to be around for a few more Christmases, damnit!!! :)

Anyway, things have been very weird. But thank God, Logan's health has appeared to be really good. Would rather I be the sickly one than him, anyday. :)

Now if me and hubby could just catch up on our REM sleep...