Saturday, September 22, 2007

Good news and bad news

So, the friend I talked about? Who needed my help a prior Tuesday, ironically on 9/11/2007?

She was asking for help I couldn't give her, but not asking for the help she truly needed. But thankfully, according to her boyfriend, she is now getting that help she truly needed. I am judiciously leaving out the details. But I am VERY happy that she's finally getting the help she actually needed. Whew.

And I'm proud of her. This will be the 2nd time she's needed this sort of help. After she got the help the first time, she was fine for many years. Having to get help a 2nd time had to be a real blow to her ego.

The boyfriend, who is also a really good friend of mine and my husband's, is kindof in shock. But holding up pretty well in spite of it.

Now for the bad news. I learned yesterday that a college friend of mine became divorced as of August 1st of this year. His wife wanted to study abroad for 4 years, and would get better financial aid benefits, and other benefits, if she were single. But although she hinted at it, she never firmly stated that she intended the divorce to be final, and not just a matter of convenience for the financial aid. However, she did say she might end up working abroad, or working in the States (but at a different location from where my friend lives), or possibly back in the same town my friend lives in. But no mention of inviting him to come abroad to work while she's in school, or visiting every 6 months. So, no indication that she intended to remarry him once she was done, but no definitive indication that she meant the divorce to be final. Just alot of evidence that pointed to the high probability that the divorce was final.

I mean, it made me wonder if she just wanted the marriage legally over, for the financial aid, but still wanted to remain faithful and married in spirit. She just really kept that aspect of the whole deal fuzzy where my college friend was concerned.

But the spiritual aspect of the marriage became pretty clear when she told my friend from college that she and this other guy were an item.


And now I just learned that she and this other guy in this other country got married, in order to increase her benefits?

My college friend is taking this REALLY well. I don't know if it's just his easy-going nature, or the fact that he's kindof had a heads up that things were going to get really weird, since his wife started planning in May to study abroad in September.

Me, I'm just dumbfounded. They were married for nearly 8 years. Was she ever really in love with my college friend? Was this always just a marriage of convenience, and now that she needs other things in life, it was no longer convenient?

Come to think of it, when they first got married, I think it was in part so she could get medical benefits from my college friend's health plan. But I always thought there was more to it than that.

I just can't see my college friend ever pulling this one someone else.

I can't see myself ever doing this to my husband, or him ever doing this to me, you know? We're in it for the long haul. We love each other. We're faithful to each other. We have a kid on the way.

Is it me, or is the world just going more and more crazy?

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