Sunday, September 10, 2006

Jet skis are cool, m'kay?

2 weekends ago my husband and I rented jet skis with a friend, and laughed ourselves silly bouncing around the ocean, and getting thoroughly drenched.

Words of advice:

1. Any speed over 25 miles per hour means you are going to almost be unable to see, especially if you are heading into the wind and waves! Salty water will continuously be hitting you in the face. You will end up spending most of the time at this speed with your eyes closed in preparation for the next splash of water.

2. Driving with your eyes closed is probably not a good idea. So play around with speeding sporadically, and after you've made sure the coast is clear!

3. Hitting the water at speeds in excess of 25 mpg hurts like hell. Or so I've been told. I managed to do all kinds of stupid things, but still hang on to the hand grips. :) [Our friend has face-planted before, but not on this particular occasion.]

4. Do not EVER take your hand completely off the throttle. If you are planning on stopping... safely... without going over the handlebars... I suggest you *ease* off the throttle gently. Contrary to what you are used to happening on land, taking your hand (or foot) off the throttle or gas does not mean you will gently coast to a stop!!!

5. If you need correction for your vision, wear contacts. The water hits you hard enough that any glasses you wear have a high likelihood of going flying. Besides, your glasses are going to be spotted over with water very quickly.

6. When you are coming off a wave, you will be thrown forward into the next wave. This will force your hand down, if you are not careful, onto the throttle. This will make it that you will keep accelerating as fast as possible up the face of the next wave you land on. This is kinda fun, but rather unnerving when you are doing it w/o meaning to. ;)

Oh, and big piece of advice. When you are coming back in to harbor, they don't want you speeding. They don't want to risk a wreck. In case either the fear of being written an expensive ticket, or the fear of a wreck don't dissuade you, consider the fact that the bacteria count in the harbor water is comparable to what's in your toilet. Before flushing. And consider the following recommendation: "Don't make waves". :)

Which reminds me of a funny joke I heard a famous comedian tell:

Hell is actually a lake filled with the most disgusting muck you can imagine. The "water" comes up to just below everyone's chins. And the only thing you ever hear anyone say is "Don't make waves".

And on Sunday, the Devil goes water-skiing. ;)

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