Saturday, March 10, 2007

My Eye! My Beautiful Eye!

"My eye! My beautiful eye!"

I think that's a quote from Futurama, when Leela, the one-eyed (she's a cyclops) human-mutant ship's captain gets a bunch of hot spices shot directly into her single eye by Elzar, the futuristic version of... crap, I can't remember the name of the chef in our present time who goes "Bam!" all the time, LOL!!! Oh, yeah. Emerald. I think that's the guy. Probably not spelling his name right.

Anyway, I'm in bed, sleeping away on a Saturday morning, and one of our dogs gets up and insists I wake up and let both of them out.

"No, Boss. Go away. Go lie down."

Boss finally gives up, but not without giving a drool-flinging shake.

And yes, you guessed it. A big dollop of dog slobber lands right in my left eye.

I'm horrified. I probably wouldn't be if it weren't for the episode of House where that farmer's dog bites the farmer on the leg, and gives him a bad case of flesh-eating virus.

I get up, and proceed to wash the outside of my left eye-lid with sea-breeze (most quickly-found alcohol-containing product in the bathroom), and then flush my left eye with eye drops. Then I use the bathroom. Dwelling on it as I finish going to the bathroom, I end up rinsing my left eye out with water... after I've first washed my hands of course.

Anyway, just call me one-eye.

1 comment:

Radioactive Jam said...

Y'know, I can't explain why but contemplating an eyeful of dog drool has a worse effect on me than reading the illustrated version of the previous post. I'm going to go drink some juice now to settle things. So to speak.