Learning to walk on Coals...

Out of the frying pan, and into the fire...

So, learning how to walk on coals here. ;)

This is just getting bloody ridiculous.

Monday February 4th, after I had called my HR rep about my options for extending my maternity leave (in order to give myself more time to find daycare places with openings for Logan), I started to not feel so hot. Well, actually I started to feel very hot. And chilled. And cold. And sweaty. And shaky. And my back HURT.

My Father-in-Law was over, helping me out with Logan, so I could get stuff done around the house. His being at our place with Logan was also good therapy for him, considering he just lost his wife on January 18th.

I let him know that I thought I needed to go to the doctor, and asked him if he could watch Logan while I went. I wrapped myself up in a blanket and took my temperature. While shaking violently, I read it and realized it was nearly 102. And it had that feeling of something that wasn't finished increasing.

My Father-in-Law didn't like the idea of me driving myself while feverish, and I agreed. My parents weren't home. Hubby was busy. Father-in-Law put Logan in the car seat and drove all 3 of us in my car to the doc-in-a-box.

I had a urinary tract infection that had moved into my kidneys. Due to the C-section, I have reduced sensation in my bladder. Literally it's like I have a man's bladder... I can hold it until I finally sense I REALLY should find a bathroom. And unfortunately, the sensation of it burning when I peed was also reduced, so I didn't realize I'd come down with a urinary tract infection until it had already made it to my kidneys, causing my back to hurt. I did have a slight sensation of burning, but it was so slight, and I was so busy with Logan, etc., that I thought nothing of it at the time. It was just too low on the radar considering all the other blips I was dealing with.

The Doc thought my flu/cold may have also been coming back, as I also mentioned having a sore throat over the weekend. And of course there's the high fever. But in fact, the fever was entirely due to the fact that my body was trying to fight the infection off in the kidneys.

The Doc prescribed stuff for the flu/cold (just in case), for the fever, and for a urinary tract infection.

Hubby met me at the clinic. Father-in-Law took Logan back home. Hubby drove me home, where I crawled into bed and continued to shake violently. Hubby drove to Longs and picked up prescriptions, bringing them back after what seemed like an eternity to my fevered brain. I took meds, and ate a burger hubby brought back, and then curled back up into bed.

I couldn't stop shaking, and coming out from under the covers made me feel intolerably cold.

The next day I was feeling somewhat better. Father-in-Law came by to take care of me and Logan. By the afternoon, when it was too soon to take ibuprofin again for my fever, I got up past 102 again. I called to try to find the doc and see if I could take the ibuprofin earlier, but he wasn't at the clinic that day. I called hubby. Hubby came home and took me to the ER!

I whined when they wanted me to take my jacket off so they could take my blood pressure. I was so cold I couldn't stand it. My fever was getting close to 103. I was dehydrated. They gave me something for my fever, then tried to find a vein. I was super-sensitive to any skin pain due to the fever, and also feeling really sorry for myself. And highly emotional. Basically, I'm not at my best when I have a high fever. I cried like a baby when they kept having to stick me with needles to finally find a viable vein to pump fluids into. It was freaking embarrassing.

My fever broke finally with sufficient meds given to me to reduce it. Took about 1 or 2 hours. While it was going down, they tested my blood and my pee. They swabbed my nose to see if I had influenza. [I didn't.] They gave me antibiotics in the 2nd bag of saline they pumped into me. And they told me to quit taking my current antibiotics, and to start a course of CIPRO.

I was on @#$@^!Q#$ Cipro. They use that for Anthrax. I was on freaking Cipro.

Hubby dropped off the Cipro prescription on his way to work the next day, as we didn't get home from the ER until almost 10pm. My parents came by to take care of me, and picked up the prescription on their way in. I think. That whole week of dealing with the kidney infection is all a little fuzzy. Fevers are fun. :P

I spent most of that week sleeping alot. And not breast feeding Logan, as he couldn't have any breast milk with any of the 3 antibiotics I had in my blood by then. So I was pumping and dumping, and the plethora of baby bottles I had recently bought were suddenly coming in VERY handy for feeding Logan formula.

On Monday 2/11, I was well enough to take Ellie to the vet while my parents watched Logan. And that was about the extent of what I accomplished that day. But anyway, it was nice to actually drive my car instead of having someone else drive me due to my being too feverish!

Just to make life interesting, also on that day, my right boob felt like it had a clogged milk duct. But that passed thankfully on its own, w/o any extra doctor/ER trips.

On Tribe, I posted a prayer of sorts after having posted the above in my Tribe blog:

"Lord, please... we need help. My husband is SO tired of taking care of both Logan and me. I'm so tired of being exhausted, sick and useless. And I'm running out of time here... I need to be healthy and on top of things so I can find a daycare place and go back to work. Shoot, poor Logan is still stuffed up from catching our colds."

Yeah, I was feeling sorry for myself, and for Logan and for my Hubby. And for my tired Parents, and my tired and sad Father-in-Law. And for my Mother-in-Law's other Kids and her Sisters.

And I was just feeling really damned tired. :P

A couple of days later, Wednesday February 13th, I was in a better mood. A bunch of my Tribe friends had sent me their good wishes and prayers and comforting words, and I was getting my energy back. God was answering prayer, helping me to catch my breath.

Thursday the 14th I was able to start breast feeding again. Flow was a little slow... I hadn't been good about pumping alot while I was feeling so sick, as I was so tired all the time. But it picked back up, and I supplemented Logan's diet with formula until I'd talked my boobies into being good moo-cows again. ;)

I talked to my boss. He was ok with my taking 30 calendar days off at the end of the 12 weeks of maternity leave. If I were to go back at the end of the 12 weeks, my first day back at work would be Wednesday February 27th. Now, after I get the paperwork done, I'll be out until the end of March.

I need to fill out the stuff for "bonding", which provides 6 weeks of income from SDI I believe for bonding with Logan. I won't be able to use all 6 weeks of it... well, unless Logan has some illnesses that cause me to need to take 1 or 2 weeks off later on after this 30 calendar days off. Which is not a happy reason for doing more bonding with Logan, so I'll happily pass on that option, if given the choice, God willing.

I can't stand it when Logan isn't feeling well. He can break my heart by just pouting!!! When he cries because he isn't feeling well, I just wish I could take his pain away for him. And he can steal my heart away with his smiles. :)

Never thought I'd be a "baby person", LOL!

But anyway, the 30 calendar days will be paid for, at a percentage of my work wages, thanks to the "bonding" thing. Weee. :)

So, everything appears to be going ok so far.

I am feeling better. But I need to start researching daycare places again. I have contacted 2 places my Mom found for me. One requires that Logan be walking fairly well... which isn't going to happen for at least another 6 months -- more like 10 months? The other might be able to take Logan as early as June, or as late as Fall, and is ok with him being a non-walking baby in diapers. Since neither location is a public (i.e., advertised) place, they are both probably the best bets, as there won't be alot of other people trying to get into them. And they come highly recommended, so... :)

And I need to finish Logan's room. He'll still be sleeping in our room at night, but for naps, I should try to get him used to his crib. This was a recommendation from my late Mother-in-Law, as it would help in getting him used to sleeping in his room at night later on.

Damn, I miss my Mother-in-Law. She was really good with Logan, and alot nicer to me than I gave her credit for. :(

So, that's what's been going on.

As I said, I'm learning to walk on coals. And trying to just be glad for the good days, and not sweat the bad days too much.

Thank you everyone who's sent me warm wishes/positive mojo/prayers/kind words/etc. :)

Hope everyone out there is doing well. Godspeed. :)